Sunday, 27 December 2015

10 LIFE REMINDERS TO REVIEW DAILY

10 LIFE reminders TO REVIEW DAILY

get ready to say hello to 2016

WITH 10 DAILY LIFE REMINDERS TO KEEP YOUR MIND CENTERED AND YOUR SPIRITS LIFTED – AND SAY HELLO TO A HAPPIER YOU


1. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Stop discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t, and start giving yourself credit for everything that you are. We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. Insecurity is what’s ugly, not you. Accept yourself! Be you, just the way you are, in the beautiful way only you know how.
2. The biggest obstacles in your life are the barriers your mind creates. Worrying will never change the outcome. When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. And do not let where you start, define where you will end up; only your actions and willpower determine that.
3. Sometimes to get where you want to go, you have to do what you are afraid to do. You must be brave and push forward. Miracles occur when you give as much attention and energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.
4. You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible. It starts with a dream. Add confidence, and it becomes a belief. Add commitment, and it becomes a goal in sight. Add action, and it becomes a part of your life. Add determination and time, and your dream comes true.
5. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, you just have to take the first step. Taking this first step is always the hardest. But then each subsequent step gets easier and easier. And with each step you get closer and closer to what you seek. Until eventually, what had once been invisible, starts to become visible, and what had once felt unattainable, becomes a reality.
6. No matter how many times you revisit the past, there’s nothing new to see. Focus on the next step. Just because you’ve made mistakes doesn’t mean your mistakes get to make you. Tame your inner critic, forgive yourself and move on. Let your old problems stay where they belong – in the past. You must make a conscious effort to do this, it won’t happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is. I don’t care how disappointed I am. I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m taking this as a lesson and moving on with my life.”
7. No matter how difficult things were yesterday, you are armed with the ability and choice to do better today. A complete turnaround may not happen instantly, but don’t let that deter you from knowing that it will someday. The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Learn from it and don’t give up.
8. Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life. Believe with all your heart that you will follow your passion and do what you were made to do. There is no happiness and success to be found by playing it safe and settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
9. You can only be yourself, and other people can only be themselves. Sometimes we try to be sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image of what we want them to be – what we think we need, love or desire. But these actions and perceptions are against reality, against their benefit and ours, and always end in disappointment – because it does not fit them. Remember you have the ability to show people how awesome they are, just the way they are. So act on this ability without hesitation; and don’t forget to show yourself the same courtesy.
10. Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you’re doing is breathing. Life can get so crazy and complicated, but always take the time to slow down, reflect, and appreciate what you have. There is always someone out there who wishes that had what you have right now.

Kids, nuts and creativity…

IMG_2836IMG_2825Given I love anything that fosters creativity and imagination in children, I couldn’t resist participating in a great initiative (and competition) designed to get kids creative both in the kitchen and outdoors.
The team at Wonderful Pistachios are encouraging families to come up with the quirkiest, most creative use of an empty pistachio shell. Such fun huh?! All you need do is grab a handful of empty shells and set to decorating.  Although the nuts are so delicious, I defy you to not to eat huge handfuls and end up with a mountain of shells (any leftovers make great compost by the way).
IMG_2829So, simply create, record (photo or video) your own pistachio artwork and share it on the Wonderful Pistachios AU Facebook page (and your own social media networks) with the hashtag #CreativelyGetCrackin to be in the chance of winning a week’s farm stay for the family and a year’s supply of yummy pistachios. Total prizes on offer (including some super runner-up prizes) are valued at over $7000.
IMG_2830Obviously they’d love everyone to go berserk buying their nuts, but it’s more than that.  It’s refreshing to come across a company which is genuinely trying to inspire creativity.  I should point out that the nuts are from the U.S., but this time around I’m overlooking food miles as I’m yet to find better pistachios grown and readily supplied in Australia.
Here’s what we came up with.  We spent about an hour creating pistachio beetles, bracelets andIMG_2827necklaces along with a wind chime. We are also thinking of making our own version of “The Hungry Caterpillar” tomorrow.
Before you start your craft activity, try and have to hand:
  • A huge packet of Wonderful Pistachios (well, der)
  • a variety of nail polishes,
  • non-toxic paint (esp.  glitter version)
  • craft glue
  • some fishing wire,
  • a drill with a teeny bit,
  • beads and other decorative items that can be threaded
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Trifle topped with pistachio and pomegranate arils
In the kitchen, pistachios (raw or roasted) can be added to salads, sprinkled over roasted vegetables, make a beautiful ice-cream, can be added to pasta dishes, and many Middle Eastern dishes. Substitute pistachios for pine-nuts for an interesting take on pesto. Use them roughly chopped over desserts such as trifles, cheesecakes or cakes.
Cheesecake with persian fairy floss, rosebuds and pistachios
Cheesecake with persian fairy floss, rosebuds and pistachios
Here are few things you might not know about Pistachios. They are an excellent source of Vitamin E, Vitamin B6, riboflavin, niacin, thiamine, folate, manganese, calcium, iron, magnesium, zinc, and potassium. They are also jam-packed with copper which assists with the production of healthy red blood cells. That’s a tiny powerhouse of a nut!
So get cracking and prove to me that you’re a creative lot… I know you are but I want to see it.  Visit the Wonderful Pistachios Facebook page for more details (including T&Cs) on the competition.

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- See more at: http://caroandco.com.au/2015/12/kids-nuts-and-creativity/#sthash.4z9JAVLY.dpuf

 always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind. – Patrick Dennis

In a world where political correctness has grown like a 6 week old sandwich found in the bottom of a school bag, I find joy in reading humour from others. Some of my favourite authors are comedic writers. Think Bill Bryson. Here in A Short History of Nearly Everything…
“In France, a chemist named Pilatre de Rozier tested the flammability of hydrogen by gulping a mouthful and blowing across an open flame, proving at a stroke that hydrogen is indeed explosively combustible and that eyebrows are not necessarily a permanent feature of one’s face.”
Or perhaps the great Chelsea Handler, whose personal assistant inspired the naming of my cat. From My Horizontal Life.
“At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.”
And of course, if you have not read Tina’ Fey’s Bossypants, you need to get onto that toot suite (or is that sweet?)
“Instead of trying to fit an impossible ideal, I took a personal inventory of all my healthy body parts for which I am grateful: Straight Greek eyebrows. They start at the hairline at my temple and, left unchecked, will grow straight across my face and onto yours.”
And of course there are hundreds of piss your pants funny blogs out there, dishing up the giggles everyday. Here are a few of my favourites.
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 The Bloggess. A love her due to her complete randomness. The Grand Lady of funny blogs.Click here.
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Georgia writes this blog, which is full of WTF moments, booze, funny grandparent stories and how she always tries to con her way into Business Class on a plane. Click here.
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Clint Gregan writes Reservoir Dad. We started blogging around the same time. I have watched Clint drink a bottle of red wine with Commonwealth Bank Big Wigs at a fancy lunch. Read about it here.
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A relative newcomer on the block, she is middle aged, middle class and married. She likes writing about naked men, celebrities, random stuff and is one to keep on your radar.  Visit here.
and finally…
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A naturally engaging writer, Emma likes a solid rant in between delivering side-splitting prose.  She is currently writing a novel, and keeps getting stuck on the sex scene. Click here.
So there you have it. A round up of some daily giggles, all on offer should you require some cheering up.

Do you love a funny blog that I don’t know about?

Please leave a link in the comment section.

And remember, as P.J . O’Rourke says, “Practically anything you say will seem amusing, if you are on all fours.”
Try it….




psychofactz:

More factspsychofactz:
More facts

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theseoverusedwords:

what are we theseoverusedwords:
what are we

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messing up horribly but you’re still cute
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when ur boob starts itching in public
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Friday, 25 December 2015

Friday, December 25, 2015

Muslikem couldn’t contain his happiness; after all he could now flaunt his vibrancy and glow publicly. The imagination, beauty and freshness of conception never appealed to him.
He painted his existence with a riot of colours and carved minute details of reality and character on his body with vividness that pointed towards his elevated morality.
Morality?
Yes, he was a fine gentleman, always spending his nights in the lord’s house; away from the sins that engulfed his mortal associates. He never raised his head during those blessed nights when he would only weep and seek forgiveness.
For what?
Muslikem always began his prayer by putting all his strength into his soul, body and mind to focus on the great Lord…. He made sure nothing distracted him, not even the scent of that beautiful Hijaban who swept the courtyard daily after men were done worshipping and connecting to the lord. Her concealed reality angered him. He wanted to see more; but she was there to make the lord happy and not men. She shrieked when they made contact with her, barked when she saw them peeling down their threads.
She never ran away…. Never…. Her job was to clean once they finished….
Muslikem would stand up, stretch, prostrate, sit and do everything he could to please the holy Lord. He would wrap his mounds of flesh into layers of chadors and never raised his head. He saw the Hijaban do that when her friends would come to visit her every few months. She fascinated him; aroused his curiosity but his duty towards the great Lord compelled him to never leave his prayer mat. His mortal associates laughed at his helplessness but he knew this was temporary. Permanent was what he was yet to experience…
It was a new dawn, or was it just another day when sky was a bit clear and things didn’t seem that blurred? He blamed it on stints involving extreme pleasures of the carnal nature. On one holy occasion he ended up indulging in a notorious debauchery and had to face the wrath of his Lord. It was a night of all vices, flattery, avarice, arrogance, deceit, gluttony and treachery. He wasn’t happy with himself but he knew holy spirits are kind. Hijaban told him they are…
It was his last day there and he wanted to make contact with her but she couldn’t be seen anywhere. The courtyard was empty and there were no other worshippers praying or devotees swaying and tripping. The courtyard was covered in a thick layer of dust and someone had to sweep it before all those pious people started thronging the lord’s house for the sunset service.
He ran away… eloped with his malignant spirit.

Play with the fire, it transforms

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I sat there, laughing at her misery and suffering. She was sprinting back and forth to ease her discomfort but I refused to help her. She looked at me helplessly but I decline to acknowledge her presence. My haughty and disdainful attitude failed to bring any succour to her impotent and bewildered existence.
She was hanging on by a thread, trying hard to seek some kind of assistance and help. She repented and tried to slough off her vile alter ego but it was futile…. Too late I must say. She had sinned, she had tempted fate by indulging into sacrilegious destruction of her holy carcass. She was fragile and would always descend from her citadel, slowly in a whirling mist of slush that hypnotized the human eye. But today she regrets and mourns the death of her prestige and oddity; after all she was special and distinctive.
She commemorated the sacred festival by embarking on a holy journey, thinking it might wash off her sins, but the journey would be her last and she would be immortalized as someone who tried. She did dhikr, a devotional act of showing loyalty to her supreme being. It was surreal; people were fascinated by her devotion and zeal. Nobody knew that she would never be seen again. Her prime aim in life was to chase any thing that remotely hinted of divinity. She left behind this mortal world and the schism that divided the divine world from the physical one. People saw her crying, herd her chanting hymns but she was inconsolable.
She walked for days, hoping to make in time for the big day when everyone will rise and stand together, hand in hand. She was wrong… such sacred journeys take years and great deal of commitment. She had grossly romanticized her devotion. She was nothing compared to other people standing with her. I felt sorry for her but I had promised myself that I would sit and watch her demise. I felt horrible but I had to stay committed. It was all about loyalty and allegiance.
I never saw her again as her wrongdoing consumed her reality. A traveller saw her body wrapped in a shroud being whisked away from the gathering. There were speculations that she died without a veil. Nobody could confirm it as her end came in solitary confinement. She was put there because her wailing and shrieking frightened the masses. I regret not being there to witness her demise. What a captivating sight it would have been.
I was told that a few days before her passing, she would move in repetitive circles. That was her way of reaching the state of excellence. She would cry and whirl, hoping to ascend to the celestial bodies like a ship sunken ages ago is brought up to the surface and to a state of wakefulness. Did she really rise…did she really ascend?
Her absence haunts me. Did I court danger by not helping her; did I venture out into a territory where savages and sadistic creatures rummage though abandoned premises looking for their next victim? But I am content, as I didn’t see her in her last days. My absence ensured I had nothing to do with her demise.
I can now go and sleep…
Disclaimer
 Dear Reader/Visitor
This piece is meant to be consumed as fiction and entertainment.

No one’s child

no one's child
And I laughed at her for telling me she is now two, one part her and the other you
A weasel has no place and he is what? A Christian Muslim or a Jew?
She blamed me for her own weakness, coward she was not me, an unwed mother she going to be
I broke the shackles and ran away, eloped with my shame, a person she never knew.
Go away and be on the streets, sell your body, stand in the queue
Your existence is no more, an entity of desire you were…. You always knew
Now go away, don’t look at me, those teary eyes and blank stares
A desire you fulfilled, a dream you must forget, my love for you? Was it really true?
Your existence ceased, but your face enchanted my heart, the sky never so bright, never so blue
But, but you failed me, the color drained, the companionship gone, reality we must dip into
The threshold of morality society dictated, we rejected, took the blame
But now I see you crumbling down, falling apart, I am a man, and and what are you?
Hide your shame, fear the world and face the wrath, I forced you out when the cold wind blew
Abandoned you were, weak and exposed, vulnerable, walking on the grass wet with dew.
But you are no more! Reeked of dirt and revenge, filth and lust, disgrace and humiliation.
Your mistake? Unlawful, the verdict? Guilty as charged. You looked powerless and we all rejected you

CARAMEL CRUNCH CAKE

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INGREDIENTS

    • Meringue:
      • 1-1/4 cups plus 24 hazelnuts, toasted, husked
      • 3/4 cup sugar
      • 6 large egg whites
      • 1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
    • Filling:
      • whipped cream
      • caramel

PREPARATION

    1. Make meringue: Preheat oven to 300°F. Line large baking sheet with parchment paper. Draw three 9 x 5-inch rectangles on parchment. Turn paper over. Finely grind 1 cup nuts with 1/4 cup sugar in processor. Coarsely chop 1/4 cup nuts; set aside. Beat whites and cream of tartar in large bowl until foamy. Gradually add 1/2 cup sugar, beating until stiff and glossy. Fold ground hazelnut mixture into whites in 2 additions. Divide meringue among traced rectangles on parchment, spreading to edges. Bake meringues until crisp and light golden, about 1 hour 30 minutes. Turn oven off; cool meringues in oven 1 hour. Remove from oven. To assemble: Spread whipped cream between each layer, then cover top and sides. Drizzle caramel over top from side to side.